Prime Minister… Harper

This week I have been spending some time mentally preparing myself for a Conservative victory.

Actually, I take that back. It’s not necessarily a Conservative victory that I fear the most; in fact, I could probably stomach a Progressive Conservative government just fine. It is a Stephen Harper victory that I fear.

I do have to give kudos to Harper for appearing less like the baby-eating, Ameri-friendly politician that dominated his image for the last few years. The Conservatives have done a fine job of their campaign, actually, and it probably boils down to one thing: muzzles. The bitter old Reformers of the West haven’t barked at all, which has allowed the Conservative Party to hide much of the extremist, fundamentalist blood that runs through its veins. Such blood will show itself in due time.

What I find most frightening about “The Rt. Hon. Stephen Harper” may be his upcoming cabinet. Harper has surrounded himself with some “interesting” creatures during his rise. Let us not forget Tom Flanagan, for instance, along with the other right-wing academics of the Calgary School. I predict that Harper is waiting to see just how much political capital he earns next Monday before he decides how far to push the envelope in selecting his cabinet. Let’s just hope that Stockwell Day doesn’t keep his post in Foreign Affairs.

It’s not that I question Harper’s intelligence. Harper is probably one of the sharpest Conservatives we’ve seen in a while: even the American newspapers have been in awe of Canada’s ability to breed such a political gem in their image. My tiff with Stephen is nothing more than a fundamental disagreement.

Here’s hoping for a minority next Monday. If it’s a majority, I fear that only heavy boozing will allow me to accept the new government of Canada. At this point, however, nothing short of a miracle will save us.